There is some STRONG LANGUAGE. Just a pre-warning.
After reading this blog, I felt my mouth drop open and I gasped a little because How Dare A Man Say Women Are Crazy. I can’t even tell you all the things I want to say about what men are, and then I realized, they aren’t listening anyway, nor do they care, so why talk about them. Why would I waste my time? Yes, I am a little cynical about relationships and I tend to meet and stay with the wrong men. I do love me some banter so I had to respond.
First, I want to start with a chorus from a song I love that should explain a lot:
I’m a bitch, I’m a lover
I’m a child, I’m a mother
I’m a sinner, I’m a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I’m your hell, I’m your dream
I’m nothing in between
You know you wouldn’t want it any other way
These are the lyrics from the song “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks. If you don’t know the lyrics and are interested, this is awesome angry chick music and so true.
Second, I concur. Women Are Crazy. That is why a lot of us don’t date each other. However, I have found some women friends that treat me better than most of my boyfriends so if I was interested, it would work out well. Unfortunately, there is something animalistic and sexy about being with a man. I digress.
Are all women crazy? You betcha! It is different degrees of crazy but we all have that gene. Some of us show it better than others. I would be high on the crazy list. We do understand each other’s crazy, sometimes. I know myself pretty well. I like to think that I do. I am a giving, nurturing, loving, charismatic, sexy, strong, motivated, guilt-filled, chicken shit of a woman.
Not what you were expecting? Let me explain.
- I have two sons whom I adore and love with all my heart. I give them everything and sacrifice whatever I can to make them happy.
- I am a huge flirt and like my tops just a little low to show off my assets.
- I can stick up and fight for my friends and family.
- I believe I can do anything and I like to try new things. Sometimes my ADHD kicks in and I put too much on my plate but it doesn’t stop me until I pass out, literally.
- I am learning but not very good at sticking up for myself in a healthy way. I tend to get aggressive and mean.
That takes me to the guilt-filled chicken shit that I can be. I have to give you some history first. As a child, my father was the head of the household. He made the decisions. He gave advice and expected us to follow it. My mom would go ballistic on him periodically because she hates being told what to do, but they have been married almost 50 years so everyone learns to live with a lot of things. My dad is the most wonderful man who is dedicated to his family and a natural entrepeneur. He is also the biggest baby I have ever dealt with. My brother is second in line for the baby award and my current boyfriend follows in suit.
All my life, I was told what to do and how to do it by the men in my life and I was expected to obey or at least concur. I did what I was supposed to do to make them happy. We (the women) served their food, cleaned up after them and served them in whatever ways they needed (not incestually but you get the idea). I adored my big brother and listened to everything he said and watched everything he did. So if I didn’t obey or follow the rules, I was struck with guilt (my mother is Catholic so she brings the guilt within her, my dad is Jewish so he dishes it out). The inner guilt that you did something wrong and disappointed someone is the worst feeling I have ever felt, especially when you are a Daddy’s girl. I can’t stand up to him until this day (he also lends me money periodically).That is where the chicken shit part comes in. When I am struck with guilt, I worry about the ramifications and decide it is easier to live with it then to cause conflict.
It took me 10 years to divorce my husband (I was ready after 5) and I have been with Mr Current Boyfriend for 6 years (granted I have children with both so the decision always comes back to the children). I want to be assertive and the guilt sets in and I just complain behind their backs. Not all women are like this. I admire those women that can get past the guilt and do what is best for them and their children. Women like me want true love that comes with a partnership but we will settle for less to have less conflict. We have enough stress in our lives.
It was said that we pick arguments on purpose. While this may be true, it is usually because we have stuffed our feelings for so long that when he chews loudly, is drunk to passing out or just breathes the wrong way it tips us over the edge. Yes, we make a big deal about something small but it was everything that led up to it that caused the argument. It may be a test of the relationship. It also may just be a breaking point in which she needs to rid these feelings so she can release the anger and move forward. Sometimes it changes things, most of the time it doesn’t. We are all stuck in our ways.
Although we may ask questions we already know the answers to, we come to the GUYS for guidance and sympathy. We really don’t want advice or for them to fix it, we just want to be validated. The validation we need usually comes from the BFF girlfriends that we make because they understand sympathy vs advice (most of the the time).
Mr Opinionated is right, we usually don’t care about your opinion unless it is something you are an expert at. We need to talk things out and find the answer through communication. We are brainstorming for answers, not asking for a definite one. There is rarely ever only one right answer. There is always a choice. We want to choose and sometimes we want you to choose for us so if it is wrong, we can blame you. If you’re a real woman, you own up to your choices and mistakes. We make apologies. We make amends. Guys just duke it out and hope it is never brought up again. Oh, and we don’t want lectures on things that we don’t understand unless we ask for it. There is just too much going on in our brains to handle your menial crap.
That brings me to the brain. There is a speaker named Mark Gungor on YouTube (link inserted below) that talks about the difference between a man’s brain and a woman’s brain. There is also the “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” book and a great comedy show in Las Vegas called “Defending the Caveman”. I am sure there are a lot of other books, movies, shows and literature based on the differences between men and women but this one was one of my favorites.
Men’s brains have boxes. Each box holds an idea, a thought, a subject, anything that fits into that box and none of the boxes touch. They also have a “Nothing” box. When we ask what they are thinking about and they say nothing, it is really nothing.
Women’s brains are a big ball of wire that all run together. There aren’t separate boxes and any thought or idea can lead into another thought or idea and they wires never stop moving. Events relate to emotions which makes them remember everything.
Nothing drives a woman more crazy than watching a man do nothing.
Guys, just a warning, if those wires cross (hormones go wild, kids are saying mom mom mom over and over again, you’re breathing wrong), shit will hit the fan. Her brain may literally explode or do something close to it.
So, yes, women are crazy, but mostly due to the men (and children) in their lives. That is why we have girlfriends and we just use you for sex and lifting heavy shit (which we may not need you for much longer with all these Spartan Races and Tough Mudders, we can do it ourselves).
I think the Opinionated Man hit a nerve with me, but as I said, I love me some banter.
-The Opinionated Woman (who is usually right, at least 95% of the time)