I have been single now for about 2 months or so. I needed to feel good about myself so I went on dating sites. I got a great humorous speech and lots of kudos. It was exhausting. I could basically have a date almost every night with a new person. I could also have sex almost every night if I wanted. I met a lot of men that I liked. One in particular.
The balance of having dates, two jobs and two children is daunting. I don’t want my dates to meet my children right away. I don’t want my children to meet my dates. This causes a lot of time restrictions. It goes something like this:
I have Wednesday, Thursday and Friday nights without my 4 year old. On those nights, it is possible that my 16 year old wants something. Most Friday and Saturday nights I work my second job. Monday through Friday I work my full time job during the day. That gives me Wed, Thurs and Fri nights and lunches during the week (except Thursday when I have Toastmasters) or hiring a babysitter. They pretend to understand but they get frustrated and eventually stop asking. That’s how I weed them out.
The guy I am seeing now is perfect for my situation right now. Almost perfect. He works 2 jobs almost full time (and rarely ever sleeps). He takes on extra shifts for the money. On Saturdays, he spends the day with his daughter who is 10 and I bring my 4 year old and sometimes the older one to hang out with them. On the other days, we miss each other but I am finally getting what I asked for…to be left alone every once in a while.
I wanted time to do the things I wanted to do. Exercise, paint, work, spend time with my boys and my nieces and anything else that may catch my fancy. I have what I want now. Someone I can see and enjoy once in a while (though I could use some more time with him) and time to myself and quality time with my kids.
I had to slow down and look at my priorities. It was fantastic to have so much attention from so many men but it was so exhausting and it was like another job. Once I looked at my priorities, I decided to date one guy that I had the best connection with and get what I want out of life – some peace and quiet and time with my family and friends. I am still working on the balance, but I am pretty happy where I am at right now.
I want my life to mean something and I want to leave my legacy with happy memories. I am happy with the balance I have created and things always change so I have more adventures to look forward to in the second half of my life.