How do you explain to someone how to have confidence, self worth and believe in themselves? How do you explain how attractive it is to feel good about yourself? How does someone change from negative to positive?
I am going to digress for a minute. I have been watching One Tree Hill on Netflix. It is about teenagers, basketball, life, love and anything else you can think of. I am on Season 7. The show has captured me because of quite a few themes.
- Love at First Sight
- True Love
- Overcoming Obstacles and Fears
- Making Mistakes and learning from them
- Dynamics and Relationships
I am sure there is a lot more but this is what I think about when I think about this TV show. The one “theme” that has really captured me during this series is “Dreams” (which actually incorporates all the other bullets). One character, Nathan, dreams of being an NBA basketball player. His wife, Hayley, dreams of being a famous singer (and was a rock star for a while).
Fade Out to Background, Nathan was a jerk in high school and Hayley was a tutor and kind of nerdy. They met and fought and fell in love and got married at 16, had a baby at 18 and in season seven they are about 25 with a 7 year old boy, Jamie. They have had a lot of adversity and troubles through their marriage but they always had each other’s backs no matter what.
Fade In to current storyline, they are still young and Hayley tells Nathan to go after his NBA dream even though they have a child and are struggling a bit. She doesn’t want him to lose his dream. He tells her to go after her singing career. She is teaching (which she loves) but also wants to pursue a career in singing (and gets fired from her teaching job for standing up for what she believed in). Moral to the story for me, they go after their dreams with support from each other because they believe in themselves and in each other.
How does one retrieve this belief and confidence? I can only speak of myself. There are risks I will take and there are risks I will not take. If it is fun project that I want (art, writing, accounting), I will jump right in. When I wanted a second job, I started applying to different paint and party places. There was a lot of rejection at first but now I work part-time doing painting parties and I LOVE IT!!! When I wanted a new accounting job, I put myself out there and I found one or ten and I found the best fit and I LOVE IT!!! When I was in college, my grades sucked so I joined some accounting groups and was able to find jobs through networking vs just relying on my grades. It took a lot of years to build my confidence in myself to know that I was a good accountant. I still worry and have anxiety, but I keep doing it because I face my fears this way. I have said this before,
I BELIEVE I CAN DO ANYTHING, I may not do it well but I can do it.
Belief in yourself, isn’t that what it is all about? If one can believe in their abilities, then they grow the confidence. If they have confidence, then they can make their dreams a reality or at least make their reality from their dreams. Isn’t that what we all want? Our dreams to come true? Why do some people make their dreams come true and others don’t? Fear, Insecurity, Lost Hope? We all have these traits. What makes one person fight their fears, secure themselves and/or find hope?
I tried to explain to someone recently that they had to build their confidence and self-esteem. They speak in negative words instead of affirmations. The retort was negative. Almost as if, besides you guys, what do I have to live for?
I am a semi-selfish person. I want to do things for me that make me happy. That doesn’t mean that I don’t take care of my responsibilities or help others, it just means that I have things for me that make me who I am and make me confident and believe in myself. I deserve those things. I deserve them because I am a good person who gives as much as I take. I love being a mom. I love being with a partner. I love being with my friends. I love my family. I give a lot and I am taken advantage of A LOT. I have people in my life for support that help me through these things.
Maybe the people with a lack of confidence are missing a support system? Maybe they just want to be miserable because that has always worked for them? When a positive energy and a negative energy interact, what do you think happens? Does the positive energy make the negative energy better or does the negative energy bring down the positive energy? Which is stronger?
I am one of the lucky ones but what are your thoughts?